Bad Timing

I raised the subject of bad timing not that long ago and I have some further observations on the subject. As I recall, the subject of bad timing came up previously with regard to Tweedledum and the issue of inventory. While I could spend a great deal of time ranting about inventory, and I will at some point, it has become clear to me that Tweedledum suffers from bad timing and a sever lack of judgment.

A few weeks back, on a very busy Saturday night I was bar-tending as I often do. Things started out poorly and went downhill from there. I had no bar back, no cocktailer and quickly ended up deep in the weeds, with all four booths filled, all five high-tops, about 10 people at the rail (or wood), and service chits a mile long. In desperate need of help, I asked a server to get the MOD to take care of service. Mary came to my rescue and was working her way through the chits, when Tweedledum decided now would be a perfect time to talk about next weeks schedule. They get into a protracted conversation, meanwhile the printer continues to spew drink orders like it’s the fountain of youth and a bus load of blue hairs have just arrived. Pure chaos, but Tweedledum is oblivious to the immediacy of the situation.

As I come back to the bar to close a few tables she is blocking my entrance to the bar and is unaware of my presence. My first instinct is to scream at her about the need to serve guests and to focus on the here and now, not what’s going to happen next Sunday afternoon. I hold my tongue, actually I almost bit through it, but that’s not important. Eventually the rest of our staff arrives and sometime near closing time I finally emerge from the weeds.

Talking to our executive chef Jack at the end of the night reveals the depths Tweedledum will go to in order to demonstrate her skills in the area of timing and judgment. The incident at the bar took place around 5:15pm and was in part due to an unexpected early rush. Jack informs me that at about 6:00pm Tweedledum jumped on line and started to make her self dinner. We are in no way through the rush, the board is full of chits and we are on a 30 to 40 minute wait. Is there a better time for the owner to jump on line and start her own meal? I mean really, you supposedly worked as a bartender, and it does not take a genius to figure out when the store is busy. Or maybe I have not given my fellow servers and cooks the credit they deserve. Perhaps it does take a genius and we are all in the wrong line of work. Perhaps the solution to the world’s problems can be solved by the servers, bartenders and chefs of the world. Wow, what a concept. Then again, perhaps I have given Tweedledum too much credit.

You might think this was enough when it comes to the subject of bad timing, but alas I have one more story. It has become a regular practice of the Tweedles, to entertain friends and family at the restaurant. On a theoretical level I am perfectly fine with this. The demands of owning a restaurant make it very difficult to have a social life and we are by nature social beings, so why not. In fact, as guests, they are low maintenance; they tip very well, and then comp everything, so you don’t have to tip out.

As you may have guessed the issue is with timing. For some reason they do not feel the need to wait until after the rush to entertain, and more often than not, sit down on Friday or Saturday night the second we get on a wait. I drove our Head Chef home the other night and we talked about this phenomenon. He informed me that at first it pissed him off, but that he no longer lets it get to him. He simply places their order in line with the others just like any other table, and if the board is really full, he puts them last.

All this simply demonstrates the truth of life in the hospitality biz. When it comes right down to it, the inmates run the asylum.

I am fascinated with their inability to get it. I suppose it just demonstrates one of my theories on life. You see, the problem with common sense is that it is not really all that common.

Until next time,

The Barman