The Mole

I will get to my amusement park stories in a few minutes, first there are a few things I need to get off my chest.

The restaurant I work at has a mole. I am not speaking of the cute little furry kind. This is a new employee who appears to be loosely connected to our new owners. Not long before the holidays the store I work at changed hands and as you can imagine there have been some bumps in the road. Lets just say we have needed to replace some staff who were not comfortable with the new direction. Recently some new staff was hired to replace those who left. In my humble opinion this was a questionable decision. The new owners have reduced the number of staff members on shift at any given time due to the inevitable cycles of the service industry. January is always a slow time as people have generally maxed out their credit cards over the Christmas break. The current state of our economy is not helping either. Anyway, we have hired a few new staff members despite these changes of supply and demand.

One such newbie came in with very unrealistic expectations. For some reason she expected to get prime shifts and sections without having proved herself. I mean who the !@#$ does she think she is. She supposedly has a wealth of experience, but she looks more like a deer caught in the headlights to me. She attempted to pump me for information regarding my fellow employees and the changes that have taken place, but I was wise to her ways and kept my comments very vague.

More on this as things develop.

One final comment on the Mole, as she will be known from now on. The Mole was working a split shift today. Perhaps I should explain. Split shifts are the bane of any servers existence, and in general are considered something reserved for newbies and an indication that you do not have the cajones for the more lucrative opening and closing shifts. A split shift is when you are scheduled to work both at lunch and dinner of the same day. In both cases you work until business declines and your services are no longer required, at this time you stop taking tables and work your way out of the store. This is described as being cut, it is not a litteral term, but rather a description of what happens. Most restaurants have a diagram of the floor plan at the hostes stand, this diagram is used to indicate what tables the wait staff are responsible for. The act of assigning tables is called cutting the board. Latter in the evening as business declines and fewer staff are needed the board is recut, hence the term used to describe the end of a shift.

Back to the Mole and split shifts. Generally a split is a waste of a day and in many cases you make less money than you would otherwise. As to the Mole, she worked a split and was actually given a good section tonight as a way of seeing how she would respond, and in fact she performed rather well. That is until the Manager On Duty (MOD) cut her, at which time the Mole gave Mary (not her real name) unwarranted attitude. This resulted in a conversation between the Mole and Mary that was anything but pleasant. I was not privy to the conversation, but I have it on good authority that the Mole was put in her place. Well done Mary

One more thing, we have an ass kissing SOB of a server who is royally pissing off the rest of the staff. This spineless wonder has his head so far up the asses of the new owners that he can taste their food before they do. In his defense it is the only way he can keep his job considering the depth of incompetence he displays on an hourly basis. While we can all take solace in the fact that his true colors will eventually come to light, a few of us have decided to take matters into our own hands while we have the opportunity. Other than management, there are three people you do not want to piss off as a server because they collectively control your income. You do not want to piss off the hostess because she will seat you last, and will give you screaming kids, Europeans (they don't tip), and old people (they can't afford to tip). You don't want to piss of the kitchen staff because they control your food and have all manner of ways to make your life miserable. In fact if you want to be successful as a server you need to have the respect of the kitchen staff, even more than management they hold your financial well being by a very precarious string. Beyond that, and to a lesser extent, never piss off the bartender. A bartender makes all your drinks and in some cases your cappuccino's, lattes and espressos. I have personally witnessed the demise of a server because the bartender refused to make her drinks due to a misunderstanding regarding tip out. In general, patrons should receive their beverages within three to five minutes of ordering them, and definitely before their apps hit the table.

The Kiss Ass has pissed off two of those people, James (chef) and me, the Barman. Guess who closes the bar and the kitchen tonight. We have heard of the Kiss Asses back stabbing comments and have decided to take matters into our own hands. Stay tuned for a summary of the evenings festivities.

It's late and I need to get some rest. I have not been to bed before 3am the last three nights and it is catching up to me. I will give you all the details of Kiss Asses comeuppance soon and will regale you with my amusement park stories before the week is done.